These days, a growing number of marriages are crumbling and collapsing under the weight of marital differences. Financial strains, internal pressures and external tensions are some of the key reasons cited for the breakdown in the marriage relationship. Many of such marriages often result into breakups and eventually leading to the D-word. Broken or failed marriages are everywhere, we don’t have to look too far to see them.
Just look at the pages of your local newspapers or magazines and you’ll find a handful of them contributing to the rising figures of separation and divorce in today’s society. This does not only affect celebrity marriages like we used to know but also that of the so-called ‘ordinary’ people regardless of their colour, race or faith. From my observation and brief experience, I’ve come to realise that primarily sex, money, infertility, infidelity, distrust, lack of communication, interfering in-laws are some of the root causes of problems in marriages and I believe these problems can be addressed if couples will endeavour to make personal adjustments in order to accommodate their partner’s inadequacies.
“A divorce is like an amputation: you survive it, but there’s less of you.”
– Margaret Atwood
These are my honest and personal opinions regarding the sacred institution called marriage: I believe that issues are bound to happen and that couples are definitely going to have disagreements in marriage but that it should not always lead to separation or divorce. To some people, separation or divorce is their first port of call and this ought not to be so. I believe that when issues creep up in marriage, it is the responsibility of both the man and his wife to ensure that they quickly nip such issues in the bud before they grow and escalate to the point of no resolution. If you indeed love and cherish your spouse – the father or mother of your children, then it behoves you to show that love to him or her in the face of disagreement, conflict or misunderstanding.
“The best thing a parent can do for a child is to love his or her spouse.”
– Zig Ziglar
On the other hand, some couples are yet to fully understand that dating season is totally different from marriage season even though I believe that you can keep dating your spouse throughout your marriage. You need to come to terms with the fact that during dating you both were probably acting out a roleplay; trying to be on your best behaviour in order to win and secure his or her commitment of love. But you see, marriage is the reality. It’s an eye opener and the new normal. It comes with a huge responsibility of loving, forgiving and staying committed to the one and the only person you have chosen to spend the rest of your life with. Now, you’d have to be used to her beautiful face without makeup when you wake up in the morning. Because she had to wipe them off the previous night which wasn’t the case when you were dating as you only saw the glittering cosmetics and not the real thing. And you’d also have to get used to the fact that he snores like oh my God when in bed at night which you probably didn’t see during your dating season.
“Love is blind, but marriage restores its sight.”
– Georg C. Lichtenberg
In marriage, you’ll definitely find things you didn’t see while you both were dating and the only way to deal with them is to accept them in the spirit of love. If they are things that will be seriously detrimental to your happiness and fulfilment in life, dialoguing with your spouse about them could help to resolve things speedily and amicably.
In conclusion, marriage is not for young boys and girls or the immature, it’s for those who are mature in their mindset, character and personality who are willing to take responsibility and ownership of the proceedings within their marriage to make it a truly ‘happily ever after‘ experience. It is being man or woman enough to admit wrongs, acknowledge mistakes and apologise where necessary.
What’s your opinion on this? Let’s know in the comments below.
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